Upside Down

well the tell the truth, it has been a really trying 2 weeks. still dealing with the ex and the kids. living my life and trying to survive it all. i have not been around much this week because i have not wanted to share about the stuff that is going on. there is much that i will not talk about. but it would look as if i have sidestepped the ex moving to Arizona. i told her that i would not approve of her moving to Arizona. since she will most likely not to go to court and try and get the judges approval, i am not to concerned now. she is still talking about moving. she told our daughter tonight that she was thinking of moving to a smaller town that is about an hour from were we live. as inconvenient as that is it is still better then moving across the country. i have been blessed with many good friends that have proved to be a support for me in this time.

Gray

so i was looking in the mirror yesterday before getting in the shower. i need to shave, was what i noticed, not that i did. that was when i noticed. now i have had gray hair since i was 25. i have never been upset about this. however what i noticed was that my chin is mostly gray. kind of weird, when you look in the mirror and notice that something has changed. how often do i look in the mirror and just let my eye glance over my appearance and think nothing of it? not that i really like having facial hair, but now i wonder if it will be mostly gray now. i may have to grow it out a bit to see.

as a side note i would like to point out that this has been a busy year for post. i have now posted more in the last 4 months then i have any one year.

The Motions

well it is friday again, and not being able to stream media at work has once again been the reason for a late post. here is a song that i rather like. there is a funny story about it. a friend of mine on facebook had posted the chorus on face book as there status. i read it and thought it was really cool. then that night on my way to work i heard the song on the radio. i had heard it before, but had not really paid attention to it. this got my attention this time. i hope you enjoy.

When Were Angels Created?

so i was listen to k-love on the radio this morning on the way home. and there was a comment made that got me wondering. the comment was comparing satan to teenagers that rebel against there parents and deny there authority. which made me think 'how old is satan and the other angels?' so i am about to purpose a question, and then answer with what i have thought of so far.

When did God create the angels?

here is how i see it. angels by name and definition are messengers. or that is how i have always understood it. as christians we except the genesis creation then where angels created before or after people? if angels are messengers as i understand it then there would be no need for them prier to the creation of people. there would have been no one to send the messages to.

first you would think that 'well God created the earth and everything in it in 6 days and rested. so his creation is done, and then the serpent came'. right there is all that. but what is the time frame between the creation of adam and eve and the fall of man. we truely do not know. it could have been hours or it could have been hundreds of years. i think it was after some time, simply because of the curses. women was cursed with increased pain in child bearing. this leads me to believe that eve had already had children. then mans work would become a harder. thus leading me to believe that it was not hard work in the garden before, it was still work only not hard work.

so at what point would God need to have messengers to send to man. well, after the creation. i know the problem with this, and it goes like this. 'God created the heavens and the earth in 6 days and rested and he did not need to create any more.' and this is true. everything in the heavens and earth were created in 6 days and then he rested, but what about day 8. also i would like to point out that the creation story really only talks about the creation of our universe. ethereal creature would not apply to terrestrial creation.

genesis does not tell us when the angels came into play. it is possible and likely that God created the angels before the creation of the earth, because he knew they would be needed. God is smart like that, He is not going to do things as an afterthought. what if he did create angels after people? what if that is what caused the rebellion of satan and the other angels? could that explain the reason that satan hates us so much?

of course i do not have the answers to these questions. i doubt that i ever will, not while i am alive anyway. but it was a thought that crossed my mind this morning on the way home. give it some thought. post any that you have, if you care to. i would like to hear them, this is just a thought of my own and nothing more.

Sometimes I Wonder

God is subtle but he is not malicious. -Albert Einstein

i found this quote, and i thought it fit in with the way i was feeling. over the last 6 months life has been one thing after another. with the kids moving in to dealing with my ex-wife and her relationship crap and the drug use. to my my son moving back in with his mom. and now she is talking about moving to arizona. when she told me this i cried. i fought the tears because i did not want her to hear them over the phone. know, she cannot leave the state with our son without my permission. and that is what she was calling about. she is not expecting our daughter, who lives with me and will not move back in with her mother, to go. and our daughter does not want to move in the middle of high school anyway. sometimes i wonder what God must be thinking to allow all this drama and turmoil in our lives.

the other day i had a revelation about some of this kind of stuff. it occurred to me that 5 months ago with the kids came to live with me i was shocked by it, worried and upset that this was happening at the same time that i was moving into a new apartment with 2 roommates. i thought to myself 'why God are you doing this to me?' as time went on i had to deal with getting the kids to school and picked up in afternoons. making dinner everynight. keeping up on homework, and triple the laundry. and all the stuff that goes with being a full time parent. we all learned to adjust.

as it worked out, i was allowed to adjust my schedule for the month of december until the kids had winter brake. then start the first of the year my roommates started taking the kids to school for me. we still had some issues to work through and like the ride issues we have learned to deal with them. now that i look back over the last 5 months i see how God has worked in our lives. when the kids needed some place to be. they had me. when i need friends to help out, knowing that i would never ask for help outright, God gave me my roommates. with the lease that i have which ends at the end of the school years, it is good timing. my daughter got a job that she likes and is making some good money at. she is saving up for a car so that in august she can buy a car when she gets her license. i know these seem like minur things but i have seen how God has worked though my life. there are more things that i have seen little by little that shows me the hand of God.

now i am facing new challenges with the possible move, and the lease being up and having to move. one of my roommates is moving back in with his parents. i may not have gotten the job i wanted, but i have a good job that pays me fairly well. and i have gained new friends and been spending much more time with my God and savior. now i just need to trust in Him.

Jeremiah 11 ‘For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. 12 ‘Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. 13 ‘You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.

God has a plan. i just have to do my best to follow him.

Saturday Fun

Saturday i got up early and met a friend to pray. he and i have been trying to do this for almost a year now but have been missing each other. this weekend we got together. after getting home i took my daughter to work. and then my son and i had breakfast and went to the zoo. we walked all over the place. the omaha zoo has several indoor exhibits so the cold rainy day was no concern. we had a great time. after the zoo we stopped in at ihop and saw my daughter and had lunch. after that i took a much needed nap. then went swing dancing. it was a busy and fun saturday, my son and i had a great time together. here are some of the pictures i took with my phone from the zoo.

The Bough Brakes

well i finally took that last step. and the bough broke. i told the woman from church how i felt. she was very nice about it, thanked me and told me it was flattering. however she would like to remain just friends. well it is what it is, there is not anything i can do about it. i will remain her friend because that is what is available to me. it will not be easy to be around her. i am happy that i did it, though i nearly passed out. i have never felt so hot and my heart was pounding. i thought my chest might explode, if it was not for the tightness in my chest and shortness of breath. i do not know for sure but i am think my face was changing colors from the stress. but it is done, i know where i stand. we will be friends, it is not what i wanted but it is what i need. yes i am going to keep telling myself these things in hope that i will some day believe them.

Dancing

so after a rather busy day yesterday, i went to a swing dance, where i dance quite a bit. i am not much of a dancer, i took some lessons almost 10 years ago. however then the opportunity to help a friend i went. "how did dancing help a friend?" you may ask. well the dancing did not, but my being there did a little. let me explain. a recent friend of mine, recent in i met her in december when she got back from Cambodia, is trying to raise funds to go back for missions work. so how did i help dancing? they had a fund raiser at the building that i attend the monday night bible study with her and her twin sister. it was $5 at the door, they had snacks and a DJ and she did a presentation. they also did some short lessons on some easy steps. so i went last night brought my chips, payed my money, and danced. there where only about 70 - 80 people there i would say, and to be expected the women out numbered the men. now i am not very confident with my dancing skills. i try to hold my own. and there were a few of the ladies that i danced with that tried to lead, and others that were stiff and unsure of themselves and others that danced very well. the later made me fell unsure of myself, but what is a little humility. the lady that i like was there, of course she was there she is the twin sister. well so were there parents, the younger bother and one of the eldest sisters and her husband. i talked to all of them, minus the sisters husband. i even thought of asking there mom to dance, she was bored, but i was not so sure about it. looking back on it i should have. well the night ended and i left to go and pick up my daughter and went home to sleep. just to wake up 3 and a half hours later. which has been the story of this weekend.

Run Run Run

with my schedule i view the week a little different then others. i am about half a day a head of most people since i start my monday on sunday night. so this morning when i got off work i ran over to the church building to get some sound equipment for a 3 0n 3 tournament that the church is hosting. the guy who is coordinating is a good friend of my and called at the last minute to ask about sound. so of course being the nice guy that i am i agreed to help. after getting the equipment i came home and was messing with my new phone, which i will have to tell you all about later. then i got a call from my son while at school, he informs me that his mom ok'ed his going home but he needed picked up. so i run across town and get him and take him home. while i am out i decided that since i was right there i would run over to wal-mart and buy some new pants. i got home at ten thirty. at eleven i start getting text from the girl i am suppose to hang out with this evening. we have been missing each other on the phone so we set everything up last minute. i finally got to sleep at noon thirty just to get up at three to pick up my daughter. brought her home to change and take her to work and then meed my friend for dinner. after that i picked up my son for the weekend. then i got to sleep for bit longer then had to pick up my daughter and her boyfriend. i need to get more sleep for sure.

Friday Tune

here is a catchy tune that i like. i hope you enjoy

Finished

well i am finally finished with the categories for the blog. it has taken me most of last night at work and about 2 hours tonight. and noe over 250 post later, i can look at the number of post in each category and see what it is that i post about the most. work being the number one item that i post about. about twice as often as anything else. it was rather cool though going back through the old post and reading them. it reminded me about a lot of things that i forgot about. it really is like readying through an old journal. i did cringe at all the bad grammer and spelling that i never noticed before. and some in the most recent post as well. well now that it is done i can get back to regular post.

Dimmer Switch For The Sun

most of you know that i work nights, most of you know that i am on facebook. i decided to create a group on facebook for those of us that do not deal well with sunlight. it is a petition of sorts. it is to get a dimmer switch installed on the sun. thus far i am the only member of the group. but it is just for fun. if anyone is interested in checking it out the name of the group on facebook and a discription:

Dimmer Switch For The Sun

This is a group for people that believe that the sun is to bright. for all of you that walk outside and react with a wince and squint and have to put on sun glasses. for those of us that sleep during the day and wish that the sun would not shine through our windows and blind us. and yes i know we can block the windows, but why should we. for anyone that is fair skinned and cannot be out in the sun with out burning (those that never tan only burn). this is a petition of sorts to install a dimmer switch on the sun, so that those of us that are nocturnal do not have to suffer because of day walkers.

feel free to search for it.

Categories

i have started using the categories tool on blogger. you will notice them at the footer of the post.

***Side bar - My co-worker just asked if Switzerland was a country. Oy vey

now back to the post ***

i have just spent the last hour and a half working on them, and i have only finished 100. i have about 150 left to do. it is going to be a long process.

One Year

so one year ago today, i seven others were hired on full time at my job. most of us had spent 6 months as contractors. so today is our one year anniversary. out of the 8 of us that were hired on only one left.

there is another one year mark this week. this last tuesday i have been working over nights for one year. what started out by myself and now there are 4 of us. my how the time flies.

Choosing Titles Carefully

i have to start choosing my titles more carefully. i posted a entry earlier to day and named it twitter. big mistake in my mind, when i log on to my analyzer and see 9 hits on the site in half a day. and most of them from people i do not know. i know i am going to get hits on the site from people i do not know. i get them all the time. one or two every few days, no big deal. i have two other older entries that get googled all the time, and i let it be. but five hits to one entry in one day, that blew my mind. i have retitled the entry to try and save myself the hassle. not that i am complaining, i like the visits and all visitors are welcome. i am just in shock, that is all.

Introduced To Twitter

so i was introduced to a interesting tool. it is a micro blogger called twitter it allows you to blog with 140 characters at a time. so more then anything it allows you to send out notices. like your status on facebook. i have succeeded in adding it to this blog, to the left side. i also added it to my facebook account. the fun thing is that it looks through your email address book, and it connects you to all the people that you know via there email addresses. with this i found my uncle. it is kind of cool. we have shared a few comments back and forth, but i have only been on it a few days.

How Was Lunch?

i know you are wondering about lunch on friday. well.....

i had a really good time on friday going to lunch with my friend. one of the really cool things is that she is no longer fighting me about paying when we go out to eat. this was the first time that she did not try to pay for her meal, or force money into my hands. now if she would just let me pick her up and not just meet me places. i guess that may come in time. and if it does not then it is a small consequence. further more i did not talk to her about my feelings, i need to soon. it just did not feel like the right time. part of that could have been that i did not sleep the night before. i was off work, but could not sleep. i got about an hour of sleep that morning before meeting her. i started feeling a little spacey as i was sitting there. coherent thought was aloof. we were there almost 2 hours it was good food and the company was wonderful. i think we will have to do it again sometime. i just have to figure out how i am going to talk to her, and hope that i do it before she decides to visite here again. or her sister for that matter.

Another Slow Night

we it is a bank holiday in europe today. so we are really slow at work. it stinks that there are 4 of us here and nothing to do most of the night. the only things that we had for work was the emails from the weekend. it makes for a really long night that way. there are only so many games of sudoku and spider solitaire one person can play. and since they took away our privilage to stream media. i am short of things to do. well i am going to have a busy day today. the kids go back to school today i will have to pick up my daughter. and then i have to get her to work then i have a bible study to get to tonight, then off to work again. i hope everyone had a good weekend.

Merry Easter

i wanted to get on here and wish everyone a merry easter. i know i will most likely not get any hits on the site today with it being a holiday that most people spend with their families. but it is here, and i am wishing it to you all. i myself have to get to church early to open the building, and turn every thing on. we did the set up last night. took close to two hours to get it all done. mostly because some of the women were not happy with the plant arrangements so we spent about half an hour doing that. i am feeling really good about the set up and the service today. i am not looking forward to putting it all back. anyway, i hope everyone finds all the eggs. otherwise you could be in for a really nasty surprise.

Friday Song

this is rough live version of this song. i have come to like this song a lot, the first verse is what caught my attention. the chorus is pretty cool too. here is the first verse and chorus:

I wish I was more of a man
Have you ever felt that way
And if I had to tell you the truth
I'm afraid I'd have to say
That after all I've done and failed to do
I feel like less than I was meant to be
And what if I could fix myself
Maybe then I could get free
I could try to be somebody else
Whose much better off than me
But I need to remember this
That it's when I'm at my weakest
I can clearly see

He made the lame walk
And the dumb talk
He opened blinded eyes to see
That the sun rises on His time
Yet He knows our deepest desperate need
And the world waits
While His heart aches
To realize the dream
I wonder what life would be like
If we let Jesus live through you and me

Strange Looks

as many of you know i have a 15 year old daughter. as it turns out i do not look like i am old enough to have a 15 year old daughter. so a lot of times while we are out we get a lot of strange looks. this morning we went to starbucks and the ladies behind the counter gave us strange looks as my daughter got coffee for her and her boyfriend. most people never say anything to us. however, from time to time we talk to the person that is giving us the look and when they find out that i am her father they seem to relax, and smile a smile of 'that is a relief'. i find it interesting that people are so quick to judge, to asign blame, to point the finger at something they do not understand. but with todays world i guess i can understand why people think the worst. but it is sad.

Lunch On Friday

about a month ago i made a post regarding going out on a limb and asking someone to breakfast. however not being able to, due to schedule conflicts. about 2 week later i posted, rather cryptically that i had gotten some advice, but i did not ever say what it regarded. so now you are wondering if they are related. yes they are. a little filler info, i did about 2 weeks ago ask this same person to dinner on a sunday night. again we had an issue with scheduling. i figured that this was do to the fact that i was trying to do everything last minute. i do not like doing things last minute, but it has become a way of life with the kids and all. during this last month i also found out the same person found my blog. i do not not think she i visiting often if at all now. at least i have not seen her hitting the site. i have taken another step out on the limb. i set up a time to call and talk to her last night. just so i could try to set up lunch with her on friday. as it turns out i have taken thursday night off for easter dress rehersal, she is getting off early on friday at lunch time. so we are going to have lunch. we are going to a lunch at a restaurant called McFosters, a vegetarian and natural cafe. it should prove to be fun.

as for the advice that i still have not expanded on. a friend of mine told me i should tell her how i feel. i am still not sure about when i am going to do this. maybe it will be this friday, maybe not. you will have to sit in suspense. Bwa hahahahaha.

Fun With Nerf

one of my co-workers decided to run up to walmart and get some small nerf footballs for the 4 of us to through around. well you already know that this turned into a contest to see who can hit who with the ball. i have not been hit yet but i have hit the co-worker that bought the balls 3 times so far. first was a slow lob that landed right on the top of this head. the second was right in the middle of the back. and the last was in the side of the head, and really hard. we all had a good laugh about it. even the co-worker getting hit. this could prove to be fun. and he may come to regret the day he bought the balls.

Spring Break

well the kids are on spring break this week, which means that i will not see them much.

Three Pound Doughnut

i have a friend that works over night at a doughnut shop making the doughnuts for the next day. often, on the weekends i go up to the shop and visit with him. i help him with the making of doughnuts. then we also talk and listen to music and the like. tonight we listened to Billy Joel. the last doughnut that he makes every night is the apple fritters, one of my favorites. well he had extra dough left over as is usual. he then turns to me and says, "lets make one big fritter". i was like "ok". so we did. i took it home. we weighed it at three pounds. i will have fritter to share with the rest of the house hold. it is good.

Late Again

well they have told us that we are not allowed to stream media at work anymore so i have to do this from home now. and i have had a busy day. so with no more ado, i give you one of my most recent favorite songs.



and yes from time to time my daughter and i did dance together. we do not so much any more. but we did the other day.

Yesterday

so yesterday was april second. i know this means little to most of you. it means something to me. however i was not able to get on line yesterday to post anything. i took the night off of work and spent 5 hours playing spades. then i took my daughter to school. then i slept, just to get up and pick my daughter up from school. she and her boyfriend were going out for dinner and a movie. so i dropped them off and headed to choir and band practice for sunday easter service at church. then i headed off to work. so i did not have time to post anything today.

so what is so important about yesterday? it has been 4 years since i started this blog. so happy anniversary. i did make a strange discovery the other day about yesterday as well. as it turns out 5 years ago was when my last girlfriend and i broke up. kind of odd, i know, the same day.

No Job For Me

tonight was choir and band practice. i am not part of either group. i run sound and open the building. so i am just there for the fun of it. i did see Pinakidion there tonight. as it turns out they had 2 interviewees come back in for the second round of interviews. i was not one of the two. as it turns out i was right about interviewing badly. Pink asked his supervisor about it and was told that i did not sell myself well. such is life. i knew i was going out on a limb with this one anyway. i need to be careful about the number of limbs i am out on. so for me it is still the overnights (sigh). my co-works are happy about it. i don't understand why, most of them complain that i am mean to them. however for some reason they all get along with me and not the others on our shift.

April Fools Day

i am a practical joker, but april fools hold little interest for me. but this morning we decided to get our supervisor. one of the guys i work with went to walmart and bought some men's underwear and a jar of baby food. now let you imagination work on that for a minute. then we put it in one of his draws. he got a kick out of it. then we desided to put it on someone else desk and this time i took a black marker and put one of my other co-workers name in the waist band. he was on the phone so he did not know until after we left. i know childish yes, and rather disgusting. but it was fun all the same. i hope you all have a good April first, and that you are mostly prank free.