Sometimes I Wonder

God is subtle but he is not malicious. -Albert Einstein

i found this quote, and i thought it fit in with the way i was feeling. over the last 6 months life has been one thing after another. with the kids moving in to dealing with my ex-wife and her relationship crap and the drug use. to my my son moving back in with his mom. and now she is talking about moving to arizona. when she told me this i cried. i fought the tears because i did not want her to hear them over the phone. know, she cannot leave the state with our son without my permission. and that is what she was calling about. she is not expecting our daughter, who lives with me and will not move back in with her mother, to go. and our daughter does not want to move in the middle of high school anyway. sometimes i wonder what God must be thinking to allow all this drama and turmoil in our lives.

the other day i had a revelation about some of this kind of stuff. it occurred to me that 5 months ago with the kids came to live with me i was shocked by it, worried and upset that this was happening at the same time that i was moving into a new apartment with 2 roommates. i thought to myself 'why God are you doing this to me?' as time went on i had to deal with getting the kids to school and picked up in afternoons. making dinner everynight. keeping up on homework, and triple the laundry. and all the stuff that goes with being a full time parent. we all learned to adjust.

as it worked out, i was allowed to adjust my schedule for the month of december until the kids had winter brake. then start the first of the year my roommates started taking the kids to school for me. we still had some issues to work through and like the ride issues we have learned to deal with them. now that i look back over the last 5 months i see how God has worked in our lives. when the kids needed some place to be. they had me. when i need friends to help out, knowing that i would never ask for help outright, God gave me my roommates. with the lease that i have which ends at the end of the school years, it is good timing. my daughter got a job that she likes and is making some good money at. she is saving up for a car so that in august she can buy a car when she gets her license. i know these seem like minur things but i have seen how God has worked though my life. there are more things that i have seen little by little that shows me the hand of God.

now i am facing new challenges with the possible move, and the lease being up and having to move. one of my roommates is moving back in with his parents. i may not have gotten the job i wanted, but i have a good job that pays me fairly well. and i have gained new friends and been spending much more time with my God and savior. now i just need to trust in Him.

Jeremiah 11 ‘For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. 12 ‘Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. 13 ‘You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.

God has a plan. i just have to do my best to follow him.